We knew that going home was beginning to be a very real possibility. We practiced drawing and giving medicine, putting in the feeding tube, troubleshooting and correcting potential problems, and watching the baby instead of the monitors. I took the infant CPR/ Apnea Monitor class (twice!). We were essentially ready, and we were getting excited.
As excited as we were, how do I explain the total mental meltdown on that Friday morning during NICU rounds? As soon as the doctor ordered the car seat challenge and confirmed that if Bekah gained weight that night and passed the test we were good to go the next day, I broke down.
I didn’t just get a little teary-eyed. I full-out sobbed. At first everyone thought that I was just relieved to go home, but it was soon evident that excitement was not the cause of my tears. I was TERRIFIED and everyone knew it. I had spent every day at Akron Children’s Hospital for the last 10 weeks. It was the only place I knew how to take care of Bekah, the only place she had ever lived. It WAS home.
I tried to explain why I was crying— that I was nervous to be alone with Bekah, that I did not want to be the reason that something went wrong, that I wasn’t sure I could really handle it all on my own 24 hours a day every day until heart surgery.
I’m not sure if Bekah’s doctors and nurses had to take a class in how to handle semi-crazy parents, but if they did they must have gotten an A+. Not only did they always take great care of Bekah, but they also took excellent care of me…and it’s because of that care that I was able to make the decision I made the next morning without trepidation, and with only a little nervous excitement.
Read the rest of Sarah and Rebekah’s story through her blog, Following Your Heart.